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We asked a group of swingers what those "things" are, and this is what they told us.You know how it’s kinda awkward when you both go to a cocktail party and YOU were planning on just "making an appearance," but your significant other was planning to make a whole night out of it? Because fights about leaving a party early are one thing, fights about getting oral sex from a stranger when you didn’t know you weren’t supposed to are quite another.He always joked with me and said, "There are a couple things I'd like to get off my bucket list before I turn 40." He kept saying, "Do you want to go to a swingers club? And I'd be like, "This is the coolest thing ever—this girl thinks I'm good-looking! And I said, "Oh no, we're here I want to see everything." We hadn't really mingled with anybody. I had to go to the bathroom and there was a naked woman standing in the bathroom fixing her hair.If you’re going to meet another couple for some maybe-possibly-we’re-not-really-sure-yet group sex, do you think it’s wiser to meet them in a large social setting complete with paid security, other people, and plenty of condoms? If you’ve been in a relationship so long you forgot, the answer is never “in an Internet chat room.” Many people go to swingers clubs and complain -- much as they probably did in high school -- that everybody there is “too cliquish.” But there are no Regina Georges in the swingers world, and nobody is going to sneer at you and say, “You can’t swing with us.” Yes, swingers gravitate towards their friends -- like everybody else -- but go up and say hello, and you’ll be surprised how fast people will welcome you.Showing up to a party sober when everyone else has been drinking is uncomfortable.(And yes, I know it was Lisa they liked, but that flare belonged to me.) Sitting on the couch studying Tinder profiles that night, my husband took the phone saying, “You’re doing this wrong,” and began swiping left and right like a windshield wiper.“Stop! “You’re not even reading their intros.”“You’re not supposed to,” he said with all the conviction of a man who also left the dating pool before apps took over.

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Websites If you're not ready to go to a club just yet or if you want a more efficient way to explore your options, you may want to join a social network for swingers. The two sites I listed above also show you events happening near your city.Once you’ve made sure you’re going for the same reason, you need to make rules.Like scary-specific rules that include phrases you haven’t used since the eighth grade -- like “kissing is okay, but handjobs aren’t.” And while the stakes are a lot higher now than they were during "7 Minutes in Heaven," the rules here can also be changed depending on how comfortable you get.Imagine a world of complete transparency within relationships. A couple years ago, ABC News did a special segment about Gen-Y couples who swing. Below is an overview for everything you need to know about swinging: Lifestyle Clubs If you're thinking of going out to a regular bar or club in hopes of meeting another couple that down to swing, your chances are low.A transparency that translates to less infidelity, less confinement and fewer insecurities, but more trust, more fun and more freedom. In an article, ABC News reported, “Forget the notion that swingers parties are full of middle-aged folks who are bored stiff by years of marriage.”And, given the number of young couples I've met in LA who are into the lifestyle, it seems the trend for Gen-Y is getting bigger. The good news is there are so many resources for swingers.

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